Here is Friday, June 8ths.
In high school - specifically my sophomore geometry class - I was introduced to what has become one of my favorite and at times most irrelevant responses/phrases. Two individuals, and I must give credit where credit is due (Don Braaten and Ryan Galganski - Facebook them) when feeling particularly oppressed or harassed by our teacher would sarcastically exclaim, “What is this, (insert cardinal direction) Laos!”
Day by day the direction would change as well as sometimes the country - at times there were utterances of Singapore, the Philippines, Taiwan and even the entire Myanmar Peninsula- but the most common and frequently used was Eastern Laos. There is nothing special about Eastern Laos, I’ve looked it up (thank you Wikipedia).
At the time, I didn’t even think the phrase had any relevance to the situation, or if the two who uttered it so often even cared. It was funny mainly because of the way they said it, and the baffled look that implanted itself on our teacher’s face. Naturally I integrated it into my dictionary and over time it has become a personal gem of my vernacular.
The phrase is legit. Besides being a communist-run country (poor bastards), Laos is ranked among the lowest countries in terms of political and economic freedom. It’s newspapers are all published by the government, while Internet and satellite access are strictly monitored by the government. Here are some more useless facts about Laos:
1. This is where it is located on a map:
2. The national instrument is the Khaen:
3. Laos has no railways.
Why does any of this matter? Don’t worry, Laos is not simply a random country that I decided to write about. Today while at work and listening to the news radio here in Milwaukee, I listened to some interesting, humorous, and awesome news. Today, an affidavit was released by the United States Government linking former Wisconsin State Senator Gary George to a plot to overthrow the government of where else, but LAOS! How sick is that? j/k…maybe.
The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported that on Monday, 10 individuals were arrested and charged in California with plotting to attain hundreds of stinger missiles, AK-47s, mines, and other devices for use in toppling the Laotian government.
George is currently serving a previous criminal sentence in a Milwaukee half-way house and for the time being, I say, good for him! While most inmates are lifting weights and fashioning makeshift knifes and stabbing implements (broad stereotypical exaggerations) Gary George was doing something productive with his time.
If nothing else, he was getting himself ready to re-enter society. Granted it wasn’t an American society, but it was a society nonetheless. How can I, a college student working as a lowly painter for the summer, condemn a man who had not only the imagination but ambition to plot the overthrow of another country’s government? Talk about productive alone time!
Not only did George have the guts to plot a coup, but he was also thinking about covering his ass. The affidavit details a discussion that one of George’s former staff members had with an unknown Midwestern individual (most likely George) about how to NOT get caught in an FBI sting operation. Solid planning guys! So much goes into a government overthrow: weapons, timing, location, support… avoiding the possible sting operation your own government may or may not throw together when they hear that you’re planning to take over another country’s government… from prison.
As of right now there isn’t much else to the story. For the time being, George hasn’t officially been charged with anything. His lawyer, playing it coy, says he won’t be, but the man is in prison already, not exactly the greatest track record. I can only hope that when George heard the news, he said aloud in his cell, “What is this, Eastern Laos?”
No comments:
Post a Comment